The 12 Roadblocks to effective listening in Motivational Interviewing

What gets in the way of listening?

Where do the 12 Roadblocks to listening come from?

Invented by Thomas Gordon, a student of Carol Rogers, the 12 roadblocks detail 12 things that get in the way of effective listening

What are the 12 Roadblocks

1. Ordering, Directoring or Commanding
2. Warning or Threatening
3. Giving advice, making suggestions and/or offering solutions
4. Persuading (with logic)
5. Moralising/Preaching/Telling
6. Judging / Critising / Disagreeing / Blaming
7. Agreeing / approving / praising
8. Shaming, ridiculing, labelling, name-calling
9. Interpreting or analysing
10. Reassuring, sympathising, consoling
11. Questioning, or probing
12. Withdrawing, distracting, humouring, changing the subject

What are some examples of each of the roadblocks?

Ordering, Directoring or Commanding
Could be given as an authority figure (imbalance of power in the relationship.
– Don’t do that
– Do this
– Go and tell that person this
– Apologise for what you’ve done

Warning or Threatening
Seeks to demonstrate negative consequences if certain actions are or are not taken.
– If you don’t…
– You had better do this…
– That’s asking for trouble…

Giving advice, making suggestions and/or offering solutionsPersuading (with logic)
Drawing on your own experience instead of eliciting from the person theirs
– What I would do here is…
– Why don’t you…
– You should…
– Have you tried..

Perusading with logic, arguing or lecturing
An assumption that the person hasn’t thought this through, or that you have not asked what they know/have done already.
– Yes, but…
– Before you go ahead lets think of the details
– You aren’t going to do that are you?

Moralising/Preaching/Telling
Should or ought language, implies I know better than you.
– You should
– You really ought to
– This is the way things are done

Judging / Critising / Disagreeing / Blaming
Implying there is something wrong with the person
– This is all your fault
– You’re too selfish/kind/harsh
– That’s wrong

Agreeing / approving / praising
True listening does not require approval from anyone
– I think you’re right
– That’s what I would do
– I think You’ve done a great job here

(Notice the I statements, these are judgements)

Shaming, ridiculing, labelling, name-calling
Guilt-tripping into the “correct” behaviour – whatever the listener believes that to be
– That was a stupid thing to do
– You should be ashamed of that
– How could you do that to me
– You idiot

Interpreting or analysing
Seeking hidden meanings that may or may not be there
– What you mean is this…
– You dont mean that do you
– You know what your problem is don’t you
– Stop trying to make me look bad in front of everyone

Reassuring, sympathising, consoling
Seeking to help make someone better may feel nice but it is not listening
– It’s not as bad as it looks
– Everything will be okay
– You’ll be fine
– This time next year you’ll laugh about this

Questioning, or probing
Asking enough or too many questions rarely makes the person feel listened to, often in the interest of the questioners direction, not the speaker. Constant questions interfere with spontaneous flow of communication and puts you in control of the conversation instead of sharing it as a partnership.
– You’re going to do that?
– Why would you do it that way?
– Have you really thought about this fully?

Withdrawing, distracting, humouring, changing the subject
Taking the person’s mind off things does not help resolve ambivalence or make the person feel better long-term.
– Let’s talk about it some other time
– That reminds me about my situation when I…
– Let’s go along with this for now [with no intention of doing anything about it]
– Let’s take your mind off of it, what’s happennin this weekend?

What’s next

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